Helping an Elderly Parent to Make a Nursing Home Transition? Don’t Violate Estate Trust Law

As the first of the aging Baby Boomers transitions into the elderly years, the topic of caring for their well being becomes more important. Many children fear even broaching the subject with their parents. They don’t want to hurt feelings and the parents themselves may feel their children are being disrespectful. The delicate balance of exploring alternative daily living arrangements and maintaining respect for independence is easily overstepped.

There are numerous “how-to” booklets that offer guidance, but the best and first advice to heed, for both sides, is to “approach the subject in as open and loving manner as possible.” Parents should be honest with themselves regarding the ability to care for themselves and children need to explore their motives. Are they suggesting this move because it’s in Mom and/or Dad’s best interest or is it a selfish grab for assets? Both sides should consider all options from home care nursing to adult day care centers, in addition to nursing homes.

The worst thing to do is to go barging in with a take-charge manner, expecting everyone to agree with your opinion. Keep in mind that others are viewing from a slightly different perspective. Be open in acknowledging objections and address them in a respectful way.

Of course, emergency situations call for immediate reaction and decisive action, but whenever possible, an unrushed, calm, and realistic approach is the better choice. Unfortunately, some kids don’t want to wait that long and in their zeal to move the process along, violate state law regarding estate trusts.

Contact a Carrollton Elder Law Attorney If Forced Into a Nursing Home

As reported last year by, Mary Kantorowski, 98, was locked into a legal battle with her 71 year old son, who attempted to evict her and felt it was time for his mother to “live with people her own age” at a nursing home. He’d maneuvered well, or so he thought, by moving his mother’s home out of a trust that stipulated Ms. Kantorowski’s right to remain in the home until her death to a trust that had no such constraint. He was, thankfully, stopped, when the probate court stepped in.

Ms. Kantorowski’s son may have felt nursing home care was a better choice, but, even nursing homes are not infallible, so it’s important that friends and family members keep a vigilant eye out for signs of nursing home injuries and contact a nursing home neglect and abuse lawyer immediately if they suspect negligent care.

While it’s easy to guess at motive (Mr. Kantorowski had informed his younger brother that their mother had “lived too long”), children of aging parents still need to respect the terms of revocable and irrevocable trusts that are a part of any responsible estate planning.

Residents in the West Georgia can contact a Douglasville and Carrollton elder law attorney at Miller & Hightower, Attorneys at Law, when they need fast action and caring yet professional elder abuse or injury representation.

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